CONFESSIONS: YOUNG LOVE CAN BE TOUGH LOVE
My single friends talk about how after high school, the dating game completely changed. You no longer see the person you're crushing on in third period during class, or at a house party on Friday night. House parties turn into clubs and bars and everyone is so preoccupied with passing classes and getting their degree that no one really has time for a serious relationship.
In high school, you’d know who’s dating who, or how many serious relationships the jock or the
Queen Bee’s had. But after high school, you’re faced with so much uncertainty. No one knows anything about you. Everything is so new.
However, the grass isn’t always greener.
I’ve been dating my high school boyfriend who I met in elementary school for the past three years. That makes us close for about 8. I fall into that group of people who’re still dating their high school sweethearts, and it’s not easy.
Though I’m not faced with the anxiety of matching with someone on Tinder or going to the club to meet someone I could potentially start dating, I’m faced with the issue of growing up at the same time as my significant other in our relationship.
“Millennials always talk about how it’s hard to find love or start a relationship once you hit your early 20’s, but no one ever talks about the difficulties of being 20 and having dated the same person since you were in your younger teens.”
My love for my boyfriend has never faltered, (excuse the sappy detail), but we’re completely different people than the 16-year-olds that started dating each other, or the 14 year olds that started liking each other. There’s more that’s changed than finally having our own freedom - we can drive and drink legally, live on our own, etc. As we grow older, our interests have also changed.
I’m always told that, “you don’t know how lucky you are to already have a boyfriend”, or “you’re so lucky you don’t need to find a guy”, but what single 20-year-olds don’t seem to get is that it’s pretty damn hard to grow up alongside your significant other.
You take different career and life paths and become adults. Our worries became life and money and work, and not what movie we were going to see on the weekend. My boyfriend goes to school in Barrie and I go to school in Toronto, and I can’t tell you how difficult it was to not pick a school based on where he was going. He’s no longer someone I see in the hallways between class, or down the street after school.
It’s also easy to accuse your partner of “changing”, when in reality, they’re becoming an adult version of themselves. And so are you, despite wanting to be the same person your girlfriend or boyfriend met so long ago.
At the end of the day, it’s all a matter of adjusting to #adulting. Once the transition is over, your lives might be a little more organized and relaxed. Prepare for it to suck right now.